May. 2nd, 2010

dydan: (Default)
Just as I suspected, the weatherman lied and it ended up being a sunny day. A bit humid though so I am grateful we had an indoor ritual. As much as I like being out in the elements, I dont like being uncomfortable and I'm sure the bride would have sweated to death!

She had a lovely Celtic-inspired gown, very pretty girl. Her husband is adorable. He kinda looks like Noah Wyle! They are a very cute couple and clearly smitten with each other.

I didnt pass out from nervousness!

I'm still trying to process how to define what it was like for me. Its a very different feeling to be the one steering the ship instead of just being part of the crew. I'm also a very analytical person and right now I'm in the headspace of critiquing myself. Then I start feeling guilty for judging myself. Oh what fun my brain is! I really am my own worst enemy.

I did have a lovely time of it though. I definitely felt that "shift" in my consciousness and I love that feeling of being surrounded by that sacred bliss. I swear if there was a drug out there that could mimic that feeling I would be a hopeless, hardcore junkie. It was very cute and sweet to watch two people gazing adoringly at each other as they took their vows. I am very honored that they included me in such a special moment in their lives.

The arm chair quarterback in me is saying there's tremendous value in having rituals memorized or just "going with the flow" and speaking from the heart. Almost all rituals I do are spontaneous things. The only times I have scripted things were when I was leading a group ritual and each time I do it I say I wish I had not been scripted. I must have some Virgo in my natal chart because I constantly have this compulsion to have things done proper...which is what prompts me to script things. But then my gut starts screaming at me that it doesnt NEED to be scripted and that just letting energy build and flow naturally with good people is the best kind of magick out there. In the end, Miss Organized wins because someone else's wedding isnt the time to be experimental.

All in all, was good! Thank you all, so much for the support and happy thoughts. I really appreciate that there are people out there who are so supportive of me. Y'all truly are my Family of Choice and I hope you all understand what that means to me. And I am looking forward to doing more Priestess type events! The anxiety was horrible, but I know the only way that will go away is if I get more comfortable with getting out and DOING things.


dydan: (Default)

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