The secrecy of it all really sickens me. As a kid it was drilled into me very early on that "what went on at home, STAYED at home". So you learn to hide. You hide the bruises on your body, you hide the hurt and shame you feel because of the emotional abuse.
I very rarely brought friends to the house because humiliating me in front of friends was something my mother took sadistic glee in. I learned to cloak my internal pain by developing my sense of humor and sarcasm. Tears of the clown and all that, y'know?
Over the years I have had more than one person express shock at the fact that my saintly mother was even capable of the things I claimed. Anyone outside of the home who has met my mother will readily say she is a wonderful Christian woman...of course she is when you arent living with her! That's what silence does. It makes people doubt the victim. My mother is very good at painting the pretty picture and working the system. And since nobody (outside of family) has seen a hint of the things I described why should anyone believe me?
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on speaking out
Date: 2010-04-28 12:02 am (UTC)From:I very rarely brought friends to the house because humiliating me in front of friends was something my mother took sadistic glee in. I learned to cloak my internal pain by developing my sense of humor and sarcasm. Tears of the clown and all that, y'know?
Over the years I have had more than one person express shock at the fact that my saintly mother was even capable of the things I claimed. Anyone outside of the home who has met my mother will readily say she is a wonderful Christian woman...of course she is when you arent living with her! That's what silence does. It makes people doubt the victim. My mother is very good at painting the pretty picture and working the system. And since nobody (outside of family) has seen a hint of the things I described why should anyone believe me?